Monday, September 11, 2006

My first blog email

Well! Who would have thought it? I set up a Gmail account for my blog, hoping for no more than the good will of a kind-hearted WelshPERSON. Imagine my joy at receiving this only a few hours later:

"Donation of my Wealth Through You to Charity Organization

Goodday and Hello Friend,

My name is Mrs.A. G., I am a dying woman who has decided to donate what I have to charity through you.You may be wondering why I chose you. But someone has to be chosen. I am 59 years old and was diagnosed for cancer about 2 years ago,immediately after the death of my husband who had left me everything he worked for.I have been touched by the lord to donate from what I have inherited from my late husband to charity through you for the good work of humanity,rather than allow my relatives to use my husband's hard earned funds inappropriately.

I have asked the lord to forgive me all my sins and I believe he has,because He is merciful. I will be going in for an operation,and I pray that I survive the operation.I have decided to WILL/Donate the sum of $5.5 Million (Five Million five Hundred thousand Dollars) to charity through you for the good work of the lord, and to help the motherless,less privileged and also for the assistance of the widows. At the moment I cannot take any telephone calls, due to the fact that my relatives are around me and I have been restricted by my doctor from taking telephone calls because I deserve all the rest I can get.

Presently,I have informed my lawyer about my decision in WILLING this fund to charity through you. I wish you all the best and may the good Lord bless you abundantly, and please use the funds well and always extend the good work to others. If you are interested in carrying out this task,i will inform my Family Lawyer so that he can arrange the release of the funds to you.I know i have never met you but my mind tells me to do this,and I hope you act sincerely.Please i will like you to mention your reward for carrying out these task for as my last wishes. I am now too weak and frigile to do things myself because of my cancer.NB: I will appreciate your utmost confidentiality in this matter until the task is accomplished,as I don't want anything that will Jeopardize my last wish, due to the fact that I do not want relatives or family members standing in the way of my last wish.

Love,A. G."

Does it not stir your world-weary heart to read such a letter?

I confess that I cannot adequately express the overwhelming emotions which beset me as I read this moving epistle. You will note that I have respected Mrs G's desire for confidentiality by abbreviating her name to initials.

However, you must forgive me for acknowledging the hand of One Above in guiding her parents to name their precious daughter after one of Heaven's Bright Spirits; little knowing that she would grow up to be a Philanthropist of such breathtaking Vision and Generosity. To think that, had it not been for my petty desire for an encounter with a WelshPERSON, I might never have known of this Magnificent Woman; never have had the opportunity to put my bank account at the service of her Great Endeavour, and fulfil her Dying Wish to 'WILL/Donate the sum of $5.5 Million (Five Million five Hundred thousand Dollars)' to charity for the relief of human suffering.

Unfortunately, it grieves me to admit that I am unable to assist at this time. Thus, if it should come to pass that you receive a letter from a stranger named Angela Goldmineman, please remember that the dear woman has already sustained one grievous disappointment in her efforts to find a suitable Vessel for her beneficence. Look to your heart for your response.


nzm said...

Go on - admit it - you only turned her down because you can't count to 5 million, 500 thousand!

tee hee!! :-x

MamaDuck said...

Ooh! One of these days........ !

nzm said...

OK - Rule #1 of blogging - DO NOT type out your email address in full, because the SPAM spyders will find it, and you've written it in full on both your blog and the UAE blog.

That's how Angel found you - it wasn't divine providence after all! :-)

MamaDuck said...

I don't know how to set up automatic email on Blogger, but needed to be accessible immediately. The dedicated email address is a stop-gap til I have time to work it out. Spam is part of the territory!

Deepak Morris said...

Oh, my email account has gone way past dying widows and is now getting mails from nubile damsels who have no one in the world and are looking for a kindly older gentleman to take care of them - in addition to the gazillion US dollars, of course. Sex AND Money! Someone certainly knows the prime human motivators.

How do they know how old I am? That's what I'd like to know. Where are the cameras?