Step 2. RTFM (Read the For-Heaven's-Sake Manual).
Step 3. Insert B (Batteries)
Step 4. Select S (Subject).
Step 5. Research VP (Vantage Point).
Step 6. Monitor AC (Atmospheric Conditions).
Step 7. When AC appear optimal, place self and DC at VP.
Step 8. Press small button to switch on DC.
(If this step fails, go to nearest supermarket and buy the expensive B this time. Repeat Step 8.) (Cheapskate.)
Step 9. Point DC at S.
Step 10. Shoot.
Works every time.
(Actually, I had a little help with this one.)